Meanderings

I spend my life in a flux between bored, burnt out, tired, languished, beaten. It's not that I don't have the energy -- I still go to the gym, run, play tennis, hike, and take long evening walks.

Today, my Labrador Nemo and I took a long walk in Powder Springs, GA. First we walked the beautiful passive park, which is usually under water. Then we walked Powder Springs City Park. Much to my surprise, there is a new road and parking lot that comes in behind the park, so we walked down that. The new road runs alongside the mayor's highway to nowhere.

It was dead quiet going down the road -- hardly any people or signs of life. I love taking walks in my flip flops, and I just flip flopped down the uncompleted road. The road has been cut through a once deep forest, and I walked down there. I saw some wetlands and I stopped, and listened to the crickets chirping and frogs croaking.

When my time comes, when I face my Waterloo, I won't create a lot of drama. I will just keep doing what I've always done, until I drop.

Games

Every thought of the supernatural is something we create in our heads and reflect upon the stars. It's the Jesus drug that helps us get through. The idea of some invisible person who is always with us, loving us, caring for us, etc. feels really darn good. It's much better to do the Jesus drug or any other drug than to face the empty reality known as life.

Our illusions and delusions become our best friends. Denial and our ability to lie to ourselves becomes our comforting force. We play our mind games, and they give us some comfort, and reality be damned.

My observation lately is that humans are far less intelligent than I had assumed. People really can't think out any "big picture" concept. We all have our little agendas, and that is what drives us. Unfortunately, all of our agendas conflict with everyone else's agendas, so everything is deadlocked and nothing really happens in the world.

It's all a vicious game.

Favorite Quotes

Population growth is the 800 lb Gorilla in the room constantly being ignored. It's clear that continual expansion of humanity is the real reason for a perpetually growing economy. Now that energy costs are rising and economic growth is slowing, look at how the economy has reacted. America and other industrialized nations are going to have a real problem with a subsistence-level economy.
— Fred Kaluza, posted on WarSocialism discussion list

There will continue to be ultra-conservatives who detest the idea that women have control over their own bodies; there will always be those narrow-minded traditionalists who hide behind their "love" for the unborn, despite the fact that they oppose all government support for children already born.
— Cynthia Tucker, Atlanta Journal-Constitution editorial page editor

The idea that population growth guarantees a better life - financially or otherwise - is a myth that only those who sell diapers, baby carriages and the like have any right to believe
— Author Unknown

Al Qaeda was handed a way to achieve its agenda on a platter and so speeded up the process. But the real issue is us. We are a bad weather animal and during the Pleistocene we evolved into a desert ape that manipulates its environment to survive and flourish. Over the 10 millennium since we have become better and better at it. We are the natural destroyers of ecosystems; it's our heritage and our destiny. We have developed religions that support our behavior and now we have developed enough technology to give us the power of God. Power without wisdom is pure evil and wisdom has come slowly to a few but so far the species doesn't listen. Can we be saved? I think so, but we will probably wipe out much of what's beautiful about the Earth before enough people believe strongly enough and make the change. Our job is to spread wisdom and fight conservative thinking on every issue. We need to be clever and patient, the spread of knowledge and public opinion are more important than winning each battle. Being a purist just makes us look foolish, we must turn the minds of humanity and that can't be done without seeing the world as it really is.

— Snaildarter



There are already enough memes that have bled virally into the minds of the human race as it is. Many believe that the world belongs by right to Man to do with as he wishes. Countless believe that global warming is either a myth, or a reality that will be fixed by merely buying the right kind of lightbulbs and carpooling ... that continued growth is business as usual and still the best way to go for humankind. Our goal at The Stumbling Block is to make accessible the resources sharing the truth. That there is no truth in our religions that justifies the worldly havoc we have caused. That the world is not ours to ruin. That we were not made to rule it. And that we are but slightly more advanced monkeys who have no more special place on this earth than worms and cockroaches. Share what you see. Pass them on. Fill the world with truth.

— PaganBear



The late Edward Abbey is one of the great environmental writers of all time. I'm sharing a few of his quotes because I love his writings.

The tragedy of modern war is that the young men die fighting each other - instead of their real enemies back home in the capitals.

The missionaries go forth to Christianize the savages - as if the savages weren't dangerous enough already.

Society is like a stew. If you don't stir it up every once in a while then a layer of scum floats to the top.

Love implies anger. The man who is angered by nothing cares about nothing.

Power is always dangerous. Power attracts the worst and corrupts the best.

Abolition of a woman's right to abortion, when and if she wants it, amounts to compulsory maternity: a form of rape by the State.

When a man's best friend is his dog, that dog has a problem.

The only thing worse than a knee-jerk liberal is a knee-pad conservative.

— Edward Abbey

The good Earth will simply die slowly by a thousand tiny cuts until nothing beautiful is left. The best we can do is limit our participation in its death and fight the human race as hard as we can to limit its impact on the Earth. When I say fight I mean using what ever effective means are available. Whether it is voting for Obama, or riding a bicycle to work, or telecommuting, or buying locally or fighting the Catholic church's birth control policy. I think the only hope is that people who participate in the system change their behavior and raise their children to try and live sustainably. Fringe people like "leavers" and environmentalist are only relevant when we can get the greater public to move more toward sustainable living.
— Snaildarter (a friend), October 12, 2008

To put this in context, you must remember that estimates of the long-term carrying capacity of Earth with relatively optimistic assumptions about consumption, technologies, and equity (A x T), are in the vicinity of two billion people. Today's population cannot be sustained on the "interest" generated by natural ecosystems, but is consuming its vast supply of natural capital — especially deep, rich agricultural soils, "fossil" groundwater, and biodiversity — accumulated over centuries to eons. In some places soils, which are generated on a time scale of centimeters per century are disappearing at rates of centimeters per year. Some aquifers are being depleted at dozens of times their recharge rates, and we have embarked on the greatest extinction episode in 65 million years.
— Paul Ehrlich, September 25, 1998

If you were born after 1960, you will probably die of violence, starvation or contagious disease. Although it's news to you, your generation is challenged with a technically-insoluble problem — a political problem — which will ultimately kill five out of six worldwide — or perhaps all. You cannot solve this problem because that carbon-based, selfish-gene rational computer on your neck isn't logical!
—Jay Hanson, February 20, 2007 (from the article "Thermo/Gene Collision"")

The problems that exist in the world today cannot be solved by the level of thinking that created them.
— Einstein

Is there meaning to life? What are we for? What is man? The point I want to make now is that all attempts to answer that question before 1859 are worthless and that we are better off if we ignore them completely.
— George Gaylord Simpson, 1969 (it's a Darwin thing, maybe???)

One of the most widespread approaches to emerge is what might be called fit­ness teleology. Teleological explanations are found in Aristotle, and arguably constitute an evolved mode of interpretation built into the human mind. Hu­mans find explaining things in terms of the ends they lead to intuitive and often sufficient. Social science theories have regularly depended on explicitly or implicitly teleological think­ing. Economics, for example, explains choice behavior not in terms of its an­tecedent physical or computational causes but in terms of how the behavior serves utility maximization. Of course, the scientific revolution originated in Renaissance mechanics, and seeks ultimately to explain everything using forward physical causality — a very different explanatory system in which teleology is not admissible. Darwin outlined a physical pro­cess — natural selection — that produces biological outcomes that had once been attributed to natural teleological processes. Williams mounted a systematic critique of the myriad ways teleology had nonetheless im­plicitly infected evolutionary biology (where it persists in Darwinian disguises). ... Or­ganisms are adaptation executers, not fitness pursuers.

— Toby & Cosmides

Mind-Chatter & Back To Hunting/Gathering

Mind Chatter

Tom F. posted this on one of the Yahoo discussion groups that I'm on, which is called the Atlanta Leavers (a list inspired by the writings of Daniel Quinn):

I just happen to have a paragraph handy... it comes from alot of places but most currently for me, Eckhart Tolle, his book A New Earth ...

My synopsis of Tolle’s “thinking”: Consciousness consists of thoughts and emotions, the latter often triggered by thoughts but also coming from the pain body, accumulated negative energy from our personal & social environment. The world as we know it, drifting toward extinction
- threatened by over-population, consumption/ pollution and war (nukes et al.) is “captained” by this (un)consciousness and we call it ego, dysfunction, the mind-chatter that keeps us in our heads and out of our hearts, that is to say in the present where we experience the felt interconnection of ONE which is being, fathomless being, inclusive of ALL, beyond the passing material world, intelligence, source actually of all that we know. Our task in what Tolle calls the awakening is to reverse the common ratio of presence to mind-chatter which is the dysfunction plaguing our fragile life system, reverse that ratio from high percentage spent In mind-chatter to high percentage spent in presence. Out of this new consciousness will flow A New Earth, if we are lucky, the one intuited by sages throughout time, the natural state corrupted by the dysfunction of ego.




Back To A Hunter-Gatherer Society

This post comes from Tom G., who is a member of another Yahoo discussion list that I'm on, called War-Socialism. Tom is affiliated with one of the best website on peak oil, called Dieoff.org.

Even if the universe has abundant or limitless energy we are still quite limited by time, space and the cozy confines of our quite finite, little spherical planet where energy sources are indeed quite limited. As far as our species fortunate windfall of the last century or so, the fossil-fuel energy supply is not only limited but now clearly past peak production and going into irrevocable and permanent decline. Since modern homosapien's adequate food supplies among other critical, survival inputs are practically and wholly dependent on fossil energy availability and no replacements are available or viable on the scale demanded, the over-population problem will shortly begin to be corrected by the natural default process to ward equilibrium. Equilibrium won't be denied. That natural process is referred to as "die off".

Species die off is the unfortunate consequence subjectively speaking, of ecological carrying capacity overshoot. In this case our planet's capacity to supply the fossil-fuel energy and resource input necessary to permit our species to continue unabated economic and population growth is now past peak. Hence our population, economy, technology, literacy and civility, due to inevitable entropy and the immutable laws of thermodynamics can only decrease here forth.

My conclusions are the result of years of verifying the contents of dieoff.org and independent investigation by cross checking the data Jay has assembled therein. Objective and rational study of the theory of die off by applying the scrutiny of scientific method leaves one with no other conclusions. As much as we wish we could have a subjectively "happy ending" to the human condition it appears the reality of passing peak, fossil-fuel production shall continue to be manifested in a steady deterioration of human economy and ecology which are inseparable facets and consequences of the decline our industrial age existence.

Absent cheap, abundant, fossil-fuel input, it is most probable that the only sustainable possibility for the human species will eventually be in the form that we evolved to in the first place, namely, small tribes of hunting, gathering and scavenging societies. For better or worse, that is probably what the future holds for human kind as much as we would like to fantasize a different outcome.

Like it or not, our decedents if there be any will live more like our ancestors in the Olduvai ways and means with the added pressures of a very degraded ecosystem. On the subjective bright side, there should be plenty of industrial age scraps lying around the landscape to be fashioned into useful machinations to enhance our decedents survival potential. The homosapiens ape has always featured remarkable capability to manipulate the environment to his advantage. Objectively, it would seem he is likely to continue to do so until his existence is no longer viable and his inevitable extinction occurs.

Our Reason For Being

Okay, while eating dinner this evening I just realized what our purpose in life is. Life is a complete and utter miracle, and our purpose is to preserve it — both ourselves and the millions of other species on this Planet. Instead of exploiting and driving other species to extinction, like we are doing now, our purpose in life must be to PRESERVE life.

The next step is to seed the Universe with the life on this Planet. I do not believe the Universe is full of life, as some people suggest. I think we on Earth are the trillion-in-one miracle.

For all of this to work, we humans must first evolve beyond self-destruction, which is the purpose of my blog. We need to somehow get beyond politics and pettiness and follow common sense. Then, we need a common sense of purpose.

All nations need to disarm their militaries and focus on cooperative space exploration. We MUST have a stable population, and religion and poverty must go (the two work in tandum).

I don't believe in, nor want, a utopia. I only want humanity to "fulfill the mission" by serving as the sheperds of life. Once we find some other habital Planets, then people can go back to having all the babies they want. But right now, Planet Earth is way past carrying capacity, and it is everyone's personal reponsibility to procreate and consume in such a way that doesn't harm the Planet or our future.

We need an entirely new way of thinking. Liberals and conservatives alike gasp at idea of a One World Government, but I think it's a good idea. We could get rid of a lot of duplication of services. This United Earth should be a democracy, and should strive for the well-being of ALL people and other species.

Well, I had leftover catfish for dinner, so maybe that was having an effect on me. But, hey, at least now I figured out the purpose of life.

The Meaning of Life

I live with this constant, horrible guilt because I feed off the Growth Machine just like most other people. I suck at the nipples of the Eternal Growing Empire, and I try to justify that in my mind, and I really just wish I could be free.

But I need money to buy gasoline and food, and those two items keep me going so that I can earn money to buy, yeah, more gasoline and food. So, the vast majority of us just live on this Planet for the sake of just being here, and every day we consume and slowly suck the Earth dry, and we multiply for our own gratification, without really thinking why we multiply.

So, then I'm suddenly stuck with this question that never goes away: What is the meaning of life? And some will tell me to "glorify God," which is a religious buzzword that no one can explain, exactly, but I guess it means to make God happy. So, God, I HOPE I'VE MADE YOU HAPPY!

Others will say my purpose is to perpetuate the species, and if you study evolution long enough you know the second phase is to get your young to reproductive age. And maybe the third reason for existing is to provide wisdom for my young, or to teach them compassion by caring for some old farty invalid.

And then you have to ask, what is the goal of humankind? Well, I always figured we'd just work out our problems, create utopia, and then colonize the Universe. In another 100,000 years there will be TRILLIONS of us all over the galaxy, and then onto neighboring galaxies. But somewhere else another species has the same idea, and in a few hundred thousand years we'll clash and wipe each other out.

More realistically, we can look around and tell what will happen to the human species — extinction. Yes, we've ended the line for thousand of species who are gone forever, thanks to our reckless destruction of the Earth. So, we think we're special and that we are destined to survive, but that's probably not true at all. The greatest mistake we ever made was to somehow think we are better than cockroaches.

So, you can define the meaning of life a hundred different ways, but I think the simple goal is to make things better. But if we keep making things better and reach Nirvana, then we humans will grow soft, for it is adversity that helps us to grow and evolve. So, the reality is that we are stuck in a total no win situation. Billions of dollars and hundreds of labor hours are spent trying to defeat cancer, and for what reason? And it's the bitterest of ironies that most of the cancers are caused by our lifestyles and by the thousands of chemicals that are released into the atmosphere in our effort to make life more comfortable. We just end up killing ourselves trying to achieve ultimate comfort. That's fucking nuts.

I really don't have the answers other than to say that from what I've seen so far, EVERYTHING in this world is totally screwed up, and I have no idea if it HAS to be that way or not. If everything were UNSCREWED then we'd probably just find another way to screw ourselves up.

So, half of me is totally disgusted with this world, and with people who are in a self-destruct mode, and have no idea that with their cars, and big house, and big families, they are actually killing themselves in an ignoble, ignorant suicide. And, the other half of me agrees with the first half, so I'm of the unanimous opinion that humanity is a totally dysfunctional species. We may very well find that the heyday of our existence was 300,000 years ago when we ran carelessly and playfully in the African savanna.

The Goose

Fire

The fire burns, and I'm covered in plastic, and I spin and spin. The economy, the environment, atoms, evolution, so much to figure out. But it's all easy to figure out compared to these fires inside me that burn, burn, burn. Cognitive dissonance tears at my soul, day and night, as I trudge through this life, trying to figure it out.

Love, pain, cancer, and the desperation to believe religious lies, that promise to make things better, but never really do.

To quench the fire is to smother the soul, yet the fire burns on and destroys. Paper cups and straws, and landfills packed with garbage, and people who don't recycle, and reliance on the Taker System. Oh, how I kill, and what I kill will one day kill me.

But then the fire burns. The intense joy that turns to pain. The intense confusion. The joy of having it all, but really having nothing. The joy of deception, of illusion.

In the distance I see the shadows on the horizon, as my mind dances aimlessly about in my skull. Trying to figure it all out, but never able to. To hear the preachers scream and the philosophers ponder, and the teachers lecturing, and the moms screaming at their children. Everyone dances to a beat but no one recognizes the song.

And then there's that fire. That fire that wants to make the phone ring. That fire that makes you see what you can't see, that makes you want to have what you can never have, that makes you want to be with what you can never be with.

The timbers fall and Mother America grasps for straws as she slowly dies, and all this time I hold on to this misconception that it is better to only live for the present than to think about the future.

Burn, fire, burn. But what makes you burn? What fuels your flame? What fuels me? I do not know, and I cannot explain these feelings inside. My heart consumes my spirit, which consumes my soul. And my mind sits idly by, unable to control the powerful forces within.

Todd

Insanity

Having been on this planet for 48 years now, I've come to the conclusion that human society is totally and completely insane. Every day I just observe people, watch the media, and just sit back and say, "My gosh, humanity has fallen off its rocking horse.

First off there is religion. Come on folks, the gig is up. It's NOT REAL. It's all made up. You know it is — stop playing the game. Bottom line: When you die you rot like everyone else. So, my liberal Christian friends talk about religion as some abstract "spiritual experience," but even that's no good. Again, all religions are created by MEN (sorry, the male gender actually did invent them).

Next, there is this blind obsession with junk. People gotta have their junk. They just have to go buy junk and then more junk. This whole country is overflowing with junk. People gotta buy THINGS because it makes them happy, and then they drive to church in their Hummer, slap some backs and say a prayer or two, and then it's off to Longhorns for their Sunday afternoon dinner.

Thirdly, people live for the present and immediate gratification. The future be damned. Children be damned. This whole fucking life is about getting what you can, and getting it now, and getting LOTS of it, whatever "it" may be. People just want EVERYTHING, while 1/6 of the global population is poor and undernourished.

More crazy are the games people play, the egos, the self-deception, the denial, the rationalization, etc.. Human beings are a nutty species. I am endlessly fascinated by human animals and I like them. But the fact is, they are still NUTS. Humans are totally, completely, coconuts. Just sit in any Wal-mart for a while and observe people.

So, as the American empire begins to collapse and die, I now just want to laugh and have a good time. I just want to crack jokes and enjoy my last years in this totally crazy, insane society.

Coo coo,

Ze Gooster

Nobody Cares

One of the biggest shockers in life is how no one really seems to care about anything. This is a strange oddity of human nature, but it's true: People just get locked in their little worlds and they just live their own little narcissistic lives.

Considering that voter turnout was in the teens in the last election, it's obvious that few people care about democracy. Many people I've met simply don't care about the environment because it's an INCONVENIENCE to them. They don't WANT to pay more for recycled paper. They don't WANT to raise the air condition thermostat, even if it means burning less coal.

My wife and others in my life have little interest in my concerns. When I go on a rant about how people simply don't CARE she tells me to get off my soapbox. No one wants to hear my concerns for this world — I just need to shut-up and accept things the way they are, like everyone else. We must SHUT-UP so the robber barons can continue to rob us blind, so that our corrupt government can continue to cater to big industry, so that the rich can continue to fine tune their labor and environmental exploitation machine, called the U.S. government.

For the last two days I've really been thinking about Sophie Scholl, who was beheaded in 1943 by the Nazis for leading a student resistance group called the White Rose. She was enjoying a decent life as a university student, and she could have just kept quiet and continued on with her life. BUT SHE DIDN'T — she risked her life and eventually lost her head for standing up to an evil regime.

The utterly profound and sad thing is that she went to her execution sincerely believing that her martyrdom would cause an uprising among German students and the community. But it didn't. The vast majority of Germans did not oppose the incredible insanity going on around them. They did NOTHING — they just let the evil happen.

Prior to their deaths, several members of the White Rose believed that their execution would stir university students and other anti-war citizens into a rallying activism against Hitler and the war. Accounts suggest, however, that university students continued their studies as usual, citizens mentioned nothing, many regarding the movement as anti-national. Their actions were mostly dismissed...

What is the moral of this story? A young girl stands up against the Nazis and is executed by the Gestapo. The young girl cared. The girl spoke out. The young girl had courage. Where is our caring today? Where is our courage? I don't really know.

Confusica

Every day I wake up and never know what to expect. Some days bring wonderful joy, other days bring pain, but most days are just mundane. I have to keep reminding myself that I'm just a collection of a trillion living cells that somehow rose to a collection, not over billions, but trillions of years -- not in this Universe, but in another. I have to remind myself that time is infinite and size is infinite -- both small and large. And here I am caught in this single dimension, on a single spot in an endless continuum, and now I am spending my whole life trying to unravel just who I am and what I'm supposed to do.

I am a carbon-based, highly evolved animal with a powerful intelligence that is able to introspect, reason, and question. Yet I am also tied to this fragile, temporary body that will soon wither and fade. According to evolution, my only purpose is to reproduce and then get my children to reproduction age. That's it, man. But then there is the evolution of the mind and soul, and suddenly I feel a responsibility to do more than simply put a couple of kids in the world. There must be some sort of Universal destiny, and maybe what I do while on Earth can somehow make it easier for the next generation to approach the ultimate objective, whatever that may be.

I feel pain — deep pain that tears at my soul. I watch my friends and relatives die, have strokes, and suffer. But I feel great joy — the joy of a once-in-a-lifetime encounter when you make a special connection with someone. But then you have to march on into the battle because perhaps life isn't suppose to be that fun and wonderful. Maybe the essential goal in life is not to pursue happiness, but to fulfill the mission.

Alternating forces tear me apart as I stand on a planet that is whirling through space. At any time as asteroid could hit and smash my world apart. But no worries because humans have turned nuclear power into weapons, so every day we are not glowing is a miracle in itself.

The point is, each of us must make the decision to either follow our heart or our soul. What seems so unexpected seems so real now, and what once was distant now seems so close.

So, one day when the myths are unraveled and the lies are all debased, we'll be sitting on the ground exhausted from our hard work. We'll stare at that proverbial sunset and we'll feel alive — more alive than we've ever felt before. And there will be hope, and there will be a future, and suddenly a trillion little cells will have a purpose.

Change From Within

Well, this letter to the editor has been hanging on my bulletin for months. I checked out the name of the author and she's an anti-war activist in North Georgia. She's an older lady with a lot of kick.

Anyway, the letter, which was published in the Atlanta newspaper, has stuck in my mind these past five months. So, here it is:

Want Change? Start Actively Looking Within

Thank you for the op-ed article about unrecognized attitudes that lurk in the subconscious ("We don't know what we think," @issue, Jan. 23) I have been a citizen activist for many years. When I first becamse involved in public policy, I thought problems should be addressed from the top down. That is, lobby Congress and the administration. However, after writing letters, attending hearings, lobbying my representatives in Washington and seeing little if any change, I realized we have to work form the bottom up. We have to change ourselves.

Humanity seems to have an infinite capacity for self-delusion. We pray for peace and vote for war. We do more than allow our leaders to manipulate us; we encourage it.

Joan O. King
Sautee, GA, USA

Swat Me

The days just keep slipping by me one after another, and every day I say to myself, "What have I done today to help the world?" Each day I try to do a little, including a lot of volunteer work, but it's never enough.

Ten years ago, in October 1997 I was a young thirtysomething idealist who was foolish enough to try and save the world. I had this crazy notion that all you had to do was put ideas in people's minds and then the positive thoughts would spread like wildfire.

But at every turn, and at every attempt, I ran into a big, solid wall. For you see, the SYSTEM does not like change. HUMANS do not like change. HUMANS will NOT change unless their short term comfort and survival is at risk.

The environmental movement and volunteerism in general barely exists. Most people don't want to do anything except cater to themselves. As the world goes down in flames, people play complex denial games with themselves or else rationalize away everything that troubles them. Then, we humans continue on, really doing nothing, except popping lots of medication to extend our lives. None of this really makes sense.

We humans are the lost species of planet Earth. We are lost because we've never been able to find ourselves. We have no long-term goal. Our only goals are comfort, indulgence, self-gratification, and getting lazy and fat. This is the destiny of humankind.

I go through this life and nearly every day there is a new surprise, a new twist, or a new drama. Sometimes the events of the day are good, and other times they are bad.

My body surges with feelings and emotions -- powerful feelings about different things. The feelings are vivid and make me feel alive, but yet the feelings draw me into despair.

Species go extinct, yet the religious zealots don't care. The world is going to hell, much to the excitement of well-dressed Sunday worshipers, who fully expect to be whisked out of their shoes and taken to the land of golden streets, mansions, harps, and cuddly lions.

Humanity, my friend, is going insane, and we are killing the very world that supports us. Yet, each day, there is little that I do or can do. I am just another maggot wiggling around in the garbage of our society. Give me enough time and I'll turn into a fly and maybe I'll harass a few people until someone gets around to swatting me -- and then I'll be a flat, dead, nobody.

On Turning 44 ....

Eeeeks! My birthday is in two days. I can't say that I'm "early 40s" anymore. But so what.

As I reflect on my 44 years of existence, the most DRAMATIC thing that strikes me is how little I've changed since I was 15.

What I'm beginning to see is that humans develop their personalities at a young age and really don't change at all. You can say, "Well I can think of people who CHANGED," but what has really happened is those people have discovered who they are.

One of the greatest challenges of life, I have discovered, is that from the moment you are born your family and community try to mold you. As soon as you come into the world, your religion, value system, and even goals are already picked out for you.

You are told to go to college, get married, have kids, drive a nice car, live in the suburbs, be a good Christian, be a loyal Republican, brush your teeth, and wear yuppie clothes from the mall.

Some people conform because it never occurs to them to question the lifestyle of their parents or community. For other people, maybe they really are yuppie robots, so they fit in perfectly. But other humans are trapped in a strange world and try to live a life that gains the acceptance of our parents, church leaders, and community. But we are never truly happy because we don't get to be ourselves.

Some famous lines:

• "Go to college, be successful, make lots of money, and you will be happy."
• "Climb the corporate ladder and you will find contentment."
• "Get married and have lots of kids."
• "Confess your sin and become heterosexual."
• "Be a good Christian, be a good American!"

Already, the mold is made for us, and if we refuse to accept it we are called, a "rebel," "back-slidden," "problem child," "odd ball," and whatever other name people can tag us with.

In America, we are programmed to become materialistic consumption machines. We are told to give our kids a nice Christmas to show our love, and if we don't have the money, we are told to "charge it." At the same time we are told to follow "traditional Christian values," and no one questions if Materialism and Christianity conflict.

"Go to church, get a gun, kill the terrorists, buy lots of stuff at Wal-mart," are all uttered in the same sentence, and we are suppose to say, "Yeah, great idea."

Little Jehovah's Witness kids come knocking at my door dressed in cute suits and dresses, with nicely dressed adults standing behind them. I just want to whisper in their ears, "YOU DON'T HAVE TO DO THIS IF YOU DON'T WANT TO." It is not sowing seeds of rebellion, it's planting seeds of FREEDOM.

It took me much of my life to realize that I just wanted to be me, the little guy I was at age 15. So, seven years ago I just decided to start being me again, and I have loved it. No more ties, no more obsession with materialism, no more trying to impress people, no more faking how righteous or conservative I am, no more phoniness. Just me.

I guess you could say I "came out of the closet" in 1997. The person I found was a pitiful, pathetic wretch. The person had little money, a small house, and an old car. He believed passionately in God, but caught on to the clever, manipulating game of religion. He believed passionately in his country, but started to understand that democracy in America is a farce. He never believed in the corporate institutions, yet he found himself following their mantra of "BUY, CHARGE, SPEND."

The person I found buried under 22 years of social programming wasn't so bad. I'm sure there is something good about him, at least I think so. But what I do know is that this person is relatively happy.

To everyone reading this, I wish to say, "BE WHO YOU ARE." Question the institutions that try to force you into a mold and make you into someone you are not. And most importantly, LEARN TO ACCEPT OTHERS FOR WHO THEY ARE.

A good book to read:



Give Me Liberty, By Gerry Spence

Save Me From My Cynicism

Today I'm thinking that the entire world is slowly going insane. My government, people in general, and everything is totally nuts. We have politicians that argue about everything and never get anything done. We have a "democracy" that is controlled by the rich -- nothing has changed since the days of Ancient Greece. We have millions of people who are ignorant or indifferent of the world's problems. We have more millions that are treating one of the Greek religions as hard fact, we have a president that needlessly sends men and women to die in an unnecessary war, we have a U.S. Congress that can't do nothing except vote itself raises.

Honestly, I think less and less about this country that I was born in. I really have lost respect for the ol' Red, White, and Blue. I think it would be more appropriate to put a big dollar sign on the flag. I have no idea what patriotism means anymore. The U.S. is a great world example for democracy, but I doubt we've ever had a democracy. Our government is simply controlled by the people with the big bucks. George W. Bush is a mindless puppet of the Neocons and Profiteers.

As far as "making it better" I don't know what the answer is. The whole government needs to be restructured. It really needs to be "For the People" instead of "For the Corporation." Most importantly, people must have faith in their government and the democratic process. Most people don't even bother to vote, and many of those who do are single-issue voters: gun rights, anti-choice, etc...

Maybe one day we'll make it better. But then again, maybe not.

Goose

Diatribe

So, I'm sitting here on this third Planet from the sun, just in awe of how beautiful it is. More than anything, I love the trees. Ever since I was 10-years-old I've had a passion in my heart for the natural world. But at the same time, I realized how quickly humans are destroying it, and this has bumbed me out.

You see, without the air and clean water and good soil for growing food, we can't live. Yet, the natural world seems to be the furthest thing from most people's lives. See, I'm driving in traffic and everyone is in their SUV with a TV IN IT and no one seems to give a poop about nature. What's funny is many people around here are involved in a local church, so they bring their gas-guzzling, Earth-destroying SUV's to church, and they get their fill-up of "holy" and then they go back to their business of being indifferent and destroying the Earth.

The growth, damn I HATE growth, but it is relentless. I've lived here in this beautiful place called Georgia since I was a kid, and seeing the constant, relentless, rape of this habitat destroys my heart and soul. Just how many trees do we have to mow down for the bland subdivisions and those mind-numbing, unimaginative strip shopping centers that the make-thy-money-and-run developers throw up everywhere. They are garbage, but who gives a shit because the developer gets his yacht in Florida and the local government gets their fucking "tax base" so everyone is happy, so the rape and pillage continues. And the churches like it too because more growth means more money in the plate, and God only knows how much churches like money. So, the insanity goes on and on and on.

And then there's all this talk about "sanctity of life." Whew, WHAT A JOKE! If people really cared about life, they would limit their family size, limit their obsession with materialism, and reduce their impact (footprint) on the Planet that sustains us.

"Oh, little Canary, you are worshipping Nature instead of God, shame, shame, on you little boy."

And that is another disaster: The anthropocentric religions. What a mess. This whole idea that we humans are better than rats or any other living creature is wrong, wrong, wrong!

So, the innate robots of the world continue consuming, and continue to engage in "shopping therapy," and our weak, impotent, federal government continues to do nothing but move paper around, while they tax us to death. All in the name of God or the "One Right Way" or whatever.

The Bush regime, Pat Robertson, Dobson, and everyone who supports the indifferent politicians and the Earth-destroyers are all guilty of the greatest crime in history: The destruction of the Planet Earth and the extinction of the Human Species. Yes, Mr. Christian, yes Mr. Businessman, the blood is on your hands and you can't wash it off.

The preachers, the politicians, the lawyers, and all the other phony leaders provide elaborate window dressing, but they all live for one thing: Maximum revenue extraction. That is the legacy of humans, and it is pathetic.

Long live the people who have not sold out. Long live the people who still have a soul. And to hell with the sellouts, for you are damning God's Big Brain experiment. Homo Sapiens, as it now turns out, has become a silly joke. Go Islamic extremists, horde your oil and build your nukes. Go American, continue wasting your oil to support the "American way of life." Go, everyone, go. Continue enriching yourselves at the expense of your children. Continue running your country into deeper debt. Go, kids, go. No one cares, and nor do I. You have fucked your children, yourselves, your future, and your Planet. You reengineer your totally stupid religion and so-called patriotism to justify your foolish acts. It's a game you play, and everyone is the loser.

Enjoy your clothes, your nice car, your McMansion, and your pretty jewelry. Horde your wealth, throw a pittance in the plate to justify your existence, and then continue to horde, horde, horde. It's the American way.

God damn America!

The Power of Encouragement

Years ago I took a test to determine my "spiritual gifts." My score rated high in the area of "service." But there's another area where I like to help too and that is "encouragement."

With my family, demanding job, and limited energy, there is only so much time I can devote to helping the Global Sustainability Movement. However, in a way, I can "amplify" my efforts by encouraging others who are doing good work. Other activists I know do not have jobs or children, and can put many more hours into The Cause than I ever could. Others simply have the talent and resources to do things far greater than I.

So, tonight I called a couple of these special people I know and just left a message of encouragement. When I think back on my life, I recall how a few words, a supportive e-mail, or a little recognition did wonders to my will and drive to work harder. I thank the woman in California who recently sent an e-mail of encouragement for my podcast -- that meant so much.

I often think about the amazing story how Russian President Boris Yeltsin was barricaded in the Russian White House during the failed coup attempt in August 1991. By a miracle, President George Bush was able to reach Yeltsin by phone, and he provided encouragement. Later, Yeltsin said that encouragement helped to give him the will to carry on.

Encouragement is free and only takes a few minutes. I encouragement everyone in the environmental and sustainability movement to be encouragers to one another. We are all brothers and sisters in this movement, and it's important that we lift each other up.

And take it a step further -- this life is pretty difficult for most people. You can do a lot to make the world better by encouraging people that you come in contact with whenever you can. A fellow activist said the other day, "I sure do enjoy our mutual admiration society." And yes, I do too. Kind words don't hurt -- they only help.

Let us stand behind, support, and ENCOURAGE the volunteers, activists, and leaders of our movement. It will so much to them, and lifting up our colleagues is a beautiful thing.

Merry Christmas 2006!

On August 18, 1991, a coup against Gorbachev was launched by hard line communists headed by Vladimir Kryuchkov. Gorbachev was held in Crimea while Yeltsin raced to the White House of Russia (residence of the Supreme Soviet of the RSFSR) in Moscow to defy the coup. The White House was surrounded by the military but the troops defected in the face of mass popular demonstrations. Yeltsin responded to the coup by making a memorable speech from the turret of a tank.

—Wikepedia

Does Anyone Really Know What Time It Is???

Does Anyone Really Care?

I'm starting to get really frustrated because when I try to talk to people about the serious problems our world faces, I get accused of being "doom and gloom." A famous podcaster named Eric even suggested that I am an Eeyore. This is yet another bizarre defense mechanism that people have. They just don't want to hear your bad news -- they just cut you off. They don't want to deal with it.

It's like you know something's really wrong with you, maybe a freaky mole growing on your body, but you refuse to go to the doctor. By ignoring it, people must figure, it will somehow go away.

So, when I discuss global warming, human overpopulation, and other serious environmental ills, people just see me as a negative, pessimistic person. So, HOW AM I SUPPOSE TO EDUCATE AND WARN PEOPLE IN A HAPPY SORT OF WAY?

"Hehe, the polar caps are melting. Hey, at least now we can farm in northern Canada!"

Easter Island Syndrome

Another thing that continues to haunt me is Easter Island. First off, the whole place is freaky to begin with. How did people get there? Exactly how did the civilization die? Jared Diamond's book on the subject, titled "Collapse," offered a lot of insight. And I've been thinking about it even more. It seems the island was broken into rival feifdoms and that each "lord" was competing to build the biggest and best statue to the gods. In so doing, they cut down all the trees to use for transporting the stone statues. They also seemed so obsessed with building the statues that they let other things go. In other words, it was probably THEIR RELIGION that killed them. This is just a theory, but we are sure seeing a repeat today, only on a more global scale.


"The population of Easter Island reached its peak at perhaps more than 10,000, far exceeding the capabilities of the small island's ecosystem. Resources became scarce, and the once lush palm forests were destroyed - cleared for agriculture and moving the massive stone Moai. In this regard, Easter Island has become, for many, a metaphor for ecological disaster."

The Vainness, Oh Vainness

So, I'm about to start my podcast and I'm already thinking about writing a book. Why do I want to do these things? As one famous podcaster said tonight, "When I first started this, I had no idea where it was going to go." A few months a friend was talking about "The Law of Unintended Consequences." The idea is once you take an action, you really can't predict the results. I'm sure terrorists think about this all the time. When they blow up innocent women and children, I'm sure they are hoping that the incident will trigger a series of events that will eventually play in their favor. More specifically, I think one goal of terrorism is to make your enemy so blind mad that he begins to act irrationally -- hopefully to the point where his own anger backfires against him. Hmmm, sort of like what's going on between Israel and Lebanon right now.

But "The Law of Unintended Consquences" can also lead to serendipity (good things). So, I can only hope and pray that the doors I open will somehow lead to a chain of events that will spark The Great Movement.

My brother Gunther said he was hoping for another peristroka. I would love that too, but peristroka was mainly about economic and political reform, and we need far more than that -- we need to change the way people think and view their reality. So, in that regard, maybe some way, some how, I can help.

As always, the biggest challenge to accomplishing my goals is time. With a family, demanding job, and several volunteer jobs, I barely have enough time to breathe. Plus, I need some time to go to the gym, walk my dogs, spend time with my friends and relatives, read, do yardwork, pursue my other hobbies (computers, tennis), and just enjoy life a little. So, there is just no way to do all these things even if I try to stay disciplined and focused. Being too busy is the only way I know to exist. All my life I have done too much volunteer work for church and various organizations. But if a human is NOT giving back through volunteer efforts, then justifying ones existence is difficult. If you just live for yourself, that is a shallow and hollow existence.

So, I must constantly weigh all these factors and try to prioritize. In my one brief moment on this planet, where can I best focus my limited energy? This is something I think about all the time. Should I devote my life to some very specific local issue, or should I spend the rest of my years working for a global cause, knowing full well that I'll hardly put a dent in my issue and that I may never live to see the fruits of my labor?

And how about the vainness of it all? Humans are such complex creatures, but all it takes is one head injury, stroke, or tumor and all that knowledge can be lost. I read the blogs of my colleagues and think, "That is amazing how deep they are. If only such incredible knowledge could be preserved." But it's not like our brains will be kept in a pickle jar full of formaldehyde. When it's over, it's over. But, like I've said before, there is a certain beauty in absolute vainness. I know full well that the Good Lord could take me out at any second, so maybe I'd better start writing my book now. I would like to go out while playing tennis and making my last serve of a set. I would just swing at the ball, roll over, and just keep rolling. Emergency workers would then throw my carcass in a dumpster, and the remaining players would proceed to the next set. How glorious that would be. But knowing my luck, I will probably croak on the pot, while reading my favorite computer magazine. Then all this stuff bouncing around in my brain will just be gone. And that is how it is meant to be.

Goose

What is Goose Log?

I actually have no idea. This is a continuation of my old blog, The Yellow Canary. I am switching to Blogger because a) It's prettier, b) Maybe someone might actually read it here, and c) I can now blog remotely.

The purpose of my blog? For the last 10 months I've just felt disgusted with the world — not depressed anymore, but just DISGUSTED. I am just absolutely amazed how people "just don't get it" in regards to the future of our country and world. Either people are in a form ofpsychoticc denial or else they are amazingly ignorant and shallow.

The United States is going deeper into debt, and our population is exploding. The rest of the world is faring no better. Really, the whole place is goosed.

But, I am an idealist and I have hope that there will soon come a Great Awakening and the birth of a new, worldwide movement — the Sustainability Movement. I know that I am a lowly bricklayer and foundation layer for this movement. I know that I ain't no charismatic leader. But I know that leaders will come, and I will do my best to encourage and support both leaders and followers.

So, pig out at your Mickey D's, play ping pong in your McMansion, and have fun driving your SUV all over the place. As for me, I'm going to at least try to make a little difference. Most people in this world are just existing, but you will never live until you try to make things better.

The Goose

People Are Like Air

Where I'm At

I had two great experiences last week. On Thursday, I went to a meeting of the Atlanta Leavers, which was the first meeting I've made in about a year. The Atlanta Leavers is a discussion group that uses the writings of Daniel Quinn as a starting point to discuss world issues. At the meeting on Thursday, we also talked about another author whom I believe is on a similar wavelength — Neale Donald Walsch, author of Conservations With God.

On Friday, I had more fun. After having lunch with some Sierra Club friends in midtown I then traveled to nearby Decatur to see two of my wonderful Canary friends — Brothers Günther and Fida. We enjoyed a great afternoon sipping on tea and having "save the world" type discussions on the back porch. Brother Günther, by the way, lives in a tent in Fida's backyard, which I think is really neat.

The Piece of the Puzzle For This Week

While the events on Thursday and Friday gave me tons to blog about, Brother Fida gave me a great analogy that ties into my search for ways to save the world.

Brother Fida told me that humans are like air (I am paraphrasing here):

• Seventy-eight percent of people are like Nitrogen, an inert gas. They are just there.
• Twenty percent of people are like Oxygen — they have the potential to breathe life.
• About 2 percent of the people are like Argon, Carbon Dioxide, and the various trace elements. They are the activists.

Nothing can ever be done with the 78 percent of people who are inert. Thus, the goal is for the 2 percent of people who are the Trace Elements to activate the 80 percent who are Oxygen.

I asked Fida where he heard this, and he said, "My father. "

Wow, A Great Epiphany

We then had a great discussion about this analogy and I've been thinking about it ever since. I told him that I have been in many churches over the years to give my Sierra Club presentations on sprawl and population. In the moderate churches I visited, like Presbyterian and Methodist, I see lots of Oxygen — more open-minded people who will join us in our journey if inspired and led. As for the Baptist church I grew up in, they will always be inert because their literal interpretation of the Bible and other strict beliefs makes it difficult for them to take responsibility for the Planet and Future.

Along with the Baptist, there are many other folks in the 78 percent Inert group — the people who hang out at Hooters, the people who don't vote or read a newspaper, the guys who are totally obsessed with sports, etc... But that's okay.

Moral of the Story: Don't Worry - It Only Takes A Few of Us




I often think about one of my favorite Bible stories where the Israelites are about to fight the Midianites. The Israelite leader Gideon gathered his army for the great battle (Judges 7:1-7).


But God said to Gideon, "You have too many men. Anyone who is afraid may turn back (go home)." Most of Gideon's men went home. God said to Gideon again, "There are still too many men. Take them down to the water and I will test them for you." So Gideon took his men to the water to drink. Many of the men knelt down and drank the water as a dog drinks. Only 300 men drank the water from their hands. Then God said, "By the 300 men who drank from their hands I will defeat the Midianites."

This story pops in my head all the time when I'm doing activist work. When I first began my journey in 1997, I was shocked that so many people didn't "get it" and never would — even my own family and relatives. Now, I've come to accept this as a way of life. As an Activist, my goal is to inspire and empower the 20 percent of people who are Oxygen. They are the moderates and the level-headed folks who we need. They are the ones who will assume the top roles in government and introduce the initiatives that will take us on the road to sustainability. As for me, I can't do all that. I'm just the spark — I just want to light up all that centrist, middle road Oxygen out there. These people are the great progressives of our time, and we Canaries need them.

As for the Inert people, it is a total waste of time trying to "convert" them — I don't think it's possible. They didn't do much to resist slavery or Hitler's Germany. They have made zero contribution to history. They are just there, singing in the choir or watching NASCAR races. Most of them are good people and I love them all, but God has not given them the vision, intellect, or the analytical mind needed to save our Earth. They are simply the sheep grazing in the pasture.

A Quote from one of the Top Canaries of All Time:

We are living beyond our means. As a people we have developed a lifestyle that is draining the earth of its priceless and irreplaceable resources without regard for the future of our children and people all around the world.
—Margaret Mead, famous anthropologist

The Fish Tank

It's Elementary, Watson

My wife is a fish hobbyist, and we recently added a new fish to our saltwater tank. Well, that caused a LOT of problems because some of the other fish were picking on the new guy and snipping at his tail. In fact, those fish like to fight a lot!

So, Ms. Canary tried a trick that was suggested by the pet store folks. She and I removed all the coral pieces in the tank. AND GUESS WHAT? The fish stopped fighting. They didn't have any territory to defend, and they were suddenly all on an even keel.

This made me think, "Wow, what if humans removed all the stupid things that make us so territorial then we wouldn't have anything to fight about.


But Ms. Bradberry Sezs: Humans are SUPPOSED to be violent, it's been going on that way for years.

I don't think so. I mean, what if we got rid of all religion? What if we dumped political parties? What if we got rid of all the things that make us fight?

In fact, as of tonight, I think I'm going to dump all my labels. I'm not white, yuppie, lefty, back-slidden, radical, or anything. I am just ME. And I'm willing to accept you as just YOU.

I am willing to be civil, have an open mind, and hear other sides of the argument. The only problem, though, is if you come at me with ignorance, I'll go nutso. I will listen, but please back up what you are saying with evidence and proof. Don't just say "because I believe it" or "because Rush Limbaugh said it."

The Rock

I was watching on the History Channel (I'm addicted to it) where there is this holy place in Jerusalem that the Jews think is the site where God is going to come back and build his temple. The Muslims believe this same site is where Muhammad ascended to heaven (or something like that). So these two religions are fighting over the same spot of land, and they've been at it for centuries.

I dunno. I don't think humans inherently have to fight. We've just created all these barriers and walls between us, and then we go after each other and even kill each other in the name of whatever we happen to believe. It's wrong, man.

Introducing Ms. Bradberry...




Starting tonight, I'd like to introduce a new friend to help with my blogging. Her name is Ms. Bradberry — the name just totally, randomly popped into my head. She is your typical conservative, highly religious, quite uneducated, completely mainstream American. You got it — she's a personification of my mother. But that's okay. She has joined the Canary Blog Team to play the role of the Devil's Advocate. The arguments she makes are the same old arguments I hear everyday. They are the party line, programmed into her brain by the big institutions — corporations, religion, and government. See, Ms. Bradberry doesn't question. She's just a parrot — only repeating what she hears and what she has been taught. So, join me in welcoming Ms. Bradberry to the stage.

Oh, about her? She is 37, has three cute kids, and her husband is a deacon in the local country church. She is your typical yuppie mom and drives a massive SUV. Her husband is in middle management at a grading company.