As I reflect on my 44 years of existence, the most DRAMATIC thing that strikes me is how little I've changed since I was 15.
What I'm beginning to see is that humans develop their personalities at a young age and really don't change at all. You can say, "Well I can think of people who CHANGED," but what has really happened is those people have discovered who they are.
One of the greatest challenges of life, I have discovered, is that from the moment you are born your family and community try to mold you. As soon as you come into the world, your religion, value system, and even goals are already picked out for you.
You are told to go to college, get married, have kids, drive a nice car, live in the suburbs, be a good Christian, be a loyal Republican, brush your teeth, and wear yuppie clothes from the mall.
Some people conform because it never occurs to them to question the lifestyle of their parents or community. For other people, maybe they really are yuppie robots, so they fit in perfectly. But other humans are trapped in a strange world and try to live a life that gains the acceptance of our parents, church leaders, and community. But we are never truly happy because we don't get to be ourselves.
Some famous lines:
• "Go to college, be successful, make lots of money, and you will be happy."
• "Climb the corporate ladder and you will find contentment."
• "Get married and have lots of kids."
• "Confess your sin and become heterosexual."
• "Be a good Christian, be a good American!"
Already, the mold is made for us, and if we refuse to accept it we are called, a "rebel," "back-slidden," "problem child," "odd ball," and whatever other name people can tag us with.
In America, we are programmed to become materialistic consumption machines. We are told to give our kids a nice Christmas to show our love, and if we don't have the money, we are told to "charge it." At the same time we are told to follow "traditional Christian values," and no one questions if Materialism and Christianity conflict.
"Go to church, get a gun, kill the terrorists, buy lots of stuff at Wal-mart," are all uttered in the same sentence, and we are suppose to say, "Yeah, great idea."
Little Jehovah's Witness kids come knocking at my door dressed in cute suits and dresses, with nicely dressed adults standing behind them. I just want to whisper in their ears, "YOU DON'T HAVE TO DO THIS IF YOU DON'T WANT TO." It is not sowing seeds of rebellion, it's planting seeds of FREEDOM.
It took me much of my life to realize that I just wanted to be me, the little guy I was at age 15. So, seven years ago I just decided to start being me again, and I have loved it. No more ties, no more obsession with materialism, no more trying to impress people, no more faking how righteous or conservative I am, no more phoniness. Just me.
I guess you could say I "came out of the closet" in 1997. The person I found was a pitiful, pathetic wretch. The person had little money, a small house, and an old car. He believed passionately in God, but caught on to the clever, manipulating game of religion. He believed passionately in his country, but started to understand that democracy in America is a farce. He never believed in the corporate institutions, yet he found himself following their mantra of "BUY, CHARGE, SPEND."
The person I found buried under 22 years of social programming wasn't so bad. I'm sure there is something good about him, at least I think so. But what I do know is that this person is relatively happy.
To everyone reading this, I wish to say, "BE WHO YOU ARE." Question the institutions that try to force you into a mold and make you into someone you are not. And most importantly, LEARN TO ACCEPT OTHERS FOR WHO THEY ARE.
A good book to read:
Give Me Liberty, By Gerry Spence
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