Swat Me

The days just keep slipping by me one after another, and every day I say to myself, "What have I done today to help the world?" Each day I try to do a little, including a lot of volunteer work, but it's never enough.

Ten years ago, in October 1997 I was a young thirtysomething idealist who was foolish enough to try and save the world. I had this crazy notion that all you had to do was put ideas in people's minds and then the positive thoughts would spread like wildfire.

But at every turn, and at every attempt, I ran into a big, solid wall. For you see, the SYSTEM does not like change. HUMANS do not like change. HUMANS will NOT change unless their short term comfort and survival is at risk.

The environmental movement and volunteerism in general barely exists. Most people don't want to do anything except cater to themselves. As the world goes down in flames, people play complex denial games with themselves or else rationalize away everything that troubles them. Then, we humans continue on, really doing nothing, except popping lots of medication to extend our lives. None of this really makes sense.

We humans are the lost species of planet Earth. We are lost because we've never been able to find ourselves. We have no long-term goal. Our only goals are comfort, indulgence, self-gratification, and getting lazy and fat. This is the destiny of humankind.

I go through this life and nearly every day there is a new surprise, a new twist, or a new drama. Sometimes the events of the day are good, and other times they are bad.

My body surges with feelings and emotions -- powerful feelings about different things. The feelings are vivid and make me feel alive, but yet the feelings draw me into despair.

Species go extinct, yet the religious zealots don't care. The world is going to hell, much to the excitement of well-dressed Sunday worshipers, who fully expect to be whisked out of their shoes and taken to the land of golden streets, mansions, harps, and cuddly lions.

Humanity, my friend, is going insane, and we are killing the very world that supports us. Yet, each day, there is little that I do or can do. I am just another maggot wiggling around in the garbage of our society. Give me enough time and I'll turn into a fly and maybe I'll harass a few people until someone gets around to swatting me -- and then I'll be a flat, dead, nobody.