Morality, Part II

What really troubles me is that I have led a moral life, but according to most Christians I must endure trillions of years of torture simply because I can't believe something that cannot be proven. This doesn't seem fair, but those are the rules, so I am screwed.

I blame my fifth grade teachers Mr. Delk and Mr. Copenhagen. They had a huge impact on my life because they taught me to think and question. I blame myself for having an open mind. I blame my early career in journalism where it was MY JOB to question and be skeptical.

Oh great, for all of that I have to swim around in a burning lake — it will be like that river in Cleveland in the 1970s. I'll be wading in the water with Hitler and a billion Muslims going, "Why couldn't I believe???"

Okay, my "new blog" is going to be more personal, so .....

I've ALWAYS lived a moral life so I'm really don't feel like I deserve Hell. I can think of six bad things I've done in my life, and five of them were before the age of 18.

Four of the bad things I did involved conducting "hate campaigns" against two ex-girlfriends and two neighbor kids, when I was a youngster. I'm not sure why I was hateful, but part of it was the "pack" mentality because my friends or cousins joined in or led. I deeply regret this behavior and tried to contact and apologize to three of these individuals — I was only able to find one, my senior prom date, who accepted my apology.

The other bad thing I did as a youth was steal building supplies from a housing development under construction. I did this partly to resist the new subdivision that was replacing a beloved orange grove across the street from my home (I grew up in Florida). It was my first act of radical environmentalism.

The sixth bad thing I've done in my life was get too close to a single mom with small children (and me being married). We did not have sex, so half the people I've polled do not consider this an "affair." However, I did "sneak" to see her many times, so that part was wrong.

I am not saying I'm a saint and I may have forgotten some things, but for the most part I've lived a moral, clean (albeit boring) life.

The visit ...

Recently, two guys from a local church paid me a visit on a Saturday morning. When they found out I didn't believe they basically said I was going to Hell and that they would "pray for me."

I tried to explain to them that the only thing that separated me from them is that I cussed and drank beer occasionally. That's it. I've held the same job for 19 years, I raised two good daughters, I pay taxes, I vote, I give to charity, I do LOTS of volunteer work. So, I'm good too, aren't I? Christians have a way of making me feel rotten. And, funny, because I would venture to guess that Christians aren't perfect either, but, oh yeah, they are forgiven.

So, I hope the ancient desert God of the Bible forgives me for the ratty ass things I've done above. In the conservative Baptist faith I was raised in, I could go out and murder 20 people, but as long as I "ask for forgiveness" and "accept Christ as my savior" I'm in heaven. It's a great deal.

I guess I won't be in heaven with Ted Bundy, the sicko who murdered all those women, but who was then "saved' by James Dobson, of Focus on the Family fame, just prior to his execution. So, yes, you can rape and murder all you want and then just "let Jesus into your heart" before the authorities inject you. Man, what a GREAT DEAL for all of you who are prone to act like brutal criminals.

Anyway, in all seriousness, I think conservative Christianity is totally contradictory, illogical, and nonsensical, and I pay ZERO attention to it. And as for the people I've wronged in my life, I deeply regret some of the things I said and did, and I try to make up for what I did by being more accepting, kind, and loving to others, every day. It has nothing to do with religion, and it has everything to do with my own sense of morality and what I feel is right and just in my heart.

— Todd