The Trashcan Novel

All my life I've dreamed of becoming a writer. I wrote my first short story in the third grade. By age 11 I was writing regularly. I loved satire, and found it amusing when I got in trouble with my sixth grade teacher, Ms. Roache, who pulled me aside and lectured me about my "attitude." She was concerned about my suggestion of bombing China (it was SATIRE). Of course, it was hard to take serious someone who was named after a dirty insect.

Things got better in my junior high years, and I had teachers who took an interest in my writing and were extremely supportive. In those days they had a cool program called independent studies, which allowed you to create your own elective, provided that you had a sponsoring teacher. You would work in the teacher's classroom or in the library during their planning periods. I chose a creative writing program, and for two years I did nothing but write for an hour each day.

In the eighth grade I started my first novel, titled "War Without A Cause." The theme of the book is that this secret army was going to invade the world and make everything better. They were going to put an end to crime, hunger, corruption, and everything bad in the world. They eventually grew in numbers, invaded the Soviet Union, and, finally, the United States.

During my adolescent years, my writing slowed down because of my interest in girls. But I did take a creative writing class during my senior year of high school. Once again, the teacher took my satire literally and gave me a "C" in the course -- one of only a couple of C's I received all year. I didn't mind because I appreciated the fact that my teacher didn't "get it."

In college, I began writing furiously during the summers and Christmas breaks. I started a few more books, including my first attempt at sci-fi. I found that when I was depressed I did the most writing, and I went through a lot of emotional ups and downs during my college years.

I got married in 1983, and said, "now that I'm settling down, I can really focus on my writing." My wife allowed me to get a fancy, IBM Selectric typewriter, and in the evenings after work, I would go into our spare room and write. More books were started, but never finished. These included "The Battlefield Life" and "The Trashcan Novel."

"The Trashcan Novel" is one of my favorite works. It was inspired by a fellow staffer on my college newspaper. He was in love with another writer on the staff. When she gave him the "let's be friends" line he was crushed. One day he came into the newspaper office looking like a wreck. He said, "I spent the entire night writing a 50-page poem, and then I threw it in the trash." That struck me as being beautifully profound, and he became the main character in my book.

In the following years, I had two children and became involved in other things, like computer user groups. I didn't do much writing.

In 1993 I had some scary health problems and ended up in the hospital. I really thought that I was going to die. When I got out, I went into the attic and threw a large portion of my writings away. I felt that much of my work was depressing, and I never wanted my daughters to see them. Throwing these manuscripts away is something I deeply regret to this day.

In the 1990s, I continued my writing in the newsletters of groups I was involved with — my computer user group, church, and, later, my local Sierra Club newsletter. I particularly enjoyed writing and debating on environmental discussion lists. I regularly received compliments on my writing, and people appeared to particularly enjoy my rants.

I used my writing talents for the environmental cause, and got one op-ed and a handful of letters published in the local press. I also started creating websites and placing my essays online. In 2004, I started blogging.

Now, it's 2010 and I'm 50 years old. I still haven't written a single, completed book, although I have many ideas in my head. My dream and hope is that one day, before my life is over, I'll get to actually finish a book. Even if it's not published, it will be a great personal accomplishment that I will be very proud of. Maybe, just maybe, if I can ever find the time ....

The Goose