Closure

If everything is going so right, why do I feel so empty? Who are these demons inside my body who continually torment me? Where do I get this sense of restlessness and uneasiness from?

Billions of little impulses bounce around in my mind as I try to make sense of it all. I have everything, yet I have nothing. I have joy, yet I have misery. Whenever there is sunlight, there is darkness that lurks underneath. Life is a stage, and I am but an actor. We all play our games, and many strive for wealth, but in the end, no one wins.

A 35-year-old thought that never leaves my head: Why would we try to containerize God with some man made religion? Doesn't that undermine his greatness? Why can't all the religious people in the world give up their fabricated religions so that we could all just worship God, in harmony?

Back On Track

After much soul searching for the past few months, I've decided that the best course I can take to save the world is to simply "stay the course." I am on the state board of a nonprofit environmental organization. I now see that my calling is to simply give this position my best. I also do other volunteer work and I have a demanding job, so, I'm really doing all that I can do.

Warned Out

I know what's going to happen to the Earth and our civilization. I've posted warnings on this blog and on Facebook, and few people take notice. What bothers me the most are the people who are so religiously indoctrinated that their minds are completely closed — they represent the sad part of humanity.

I realize that few people are going to listen to me, and I've noticed that most people are self-absorbed in their own "thing" and often only listen to others out of politeness. I mean, I find, the entire human interaction thing fascinating.

The religious and pro-business zealots will just keep doing their thing, and they'll get angry (thus, the Tea Party) and they'll get depressed (Prozac), and in the end, their fragile bodies will wither away just as easily as those of the liberals, and socialists, and commies. We will all arrive at the same place, and it won't be the Sheraton, and it won't be a golden mansion. It will simply be nothingness and peace, and in some crazy way, that is fine with me.

I know I should do more for the environmental cause, but I would be pushing myself to "stress out" levels again, and I'll just get burnt out and bitter again. So, I'm thinking that doing less but remaining steady is the answer.

I now see that I am addicted to "passion" because it gives me a sort of high, happiness, and fulfillment. Yet, passion is vain because you always want more, and you always want it more intense, and soon you find yourself lost in your own mythological world searching for more .... well, passion. I now wonder if passion is simply the "high" I obtain for pursuing and/or longing for things I can never have. If I can have it, secure it, own it, capture it ... then there is no longer passion.

End of Sermon

To those who flick their cigarette butts out the window, or walk around extremely obese, or pickle your liver with alcohol, I salute you. For you are the vanguard and representatives of a shallow, dysfunctional, and lost civilization. You represent the excesses of a defiled society, and for that I owe you a certain admiration. God bless America, and God bless God, and God bless the ancient Egyptians for defining him so well, and God bless the Hebrews for plagiarizing, and God bless that salvationist splinter group, which was adopted by a dying empire, to hold it together. God bless the pope, for he represents the Roman Emperors who could not give up, and simply found a more creative way to achieve immortality.

And, most importantly, God bless America, as well as its 500 overseas military installations, which keep the defense contractors rich and pour trillions into our economy, and the economies of other nations.

And God bless the corporations, who make us slaves, who cheat us from our retirement savings, and then kick us out on the streets. The people who built these organizations are hard-working Americans, who represent all that is good in our great country, and when they hit the top, they find that they can save money by paying children in Indonesia or Malaysia to do the same job that an adult once did in Indiana. And so goes the American dream, although the patriots are wrapped in their flag too tightly to breathe, much less think.