Ode to McMansions

Thy reward has come to you, they good God-fearing American.

Here I Was ....

Last night I was taking my daughter's friend home. As I was driving through this McMansion neighborhood, I couldn't help but notice that many homes were illuminated by "mood" lights. What the heck? The affluent neighborhood was already well lit with streetlights, so what's with the extra lighting? Are you wealthy American yuppies trying to light your house at night to rub your success in my face? Why do I have to look at your big, overstuffed house at night as well day? What are you trying to tell me?

Last week I listened to a Podcast that told how the gap between rich and poor in America is widening. Just look at all these Americans living in their McMansions. Many of them have made their money by cashing in on our broken legal system, on our broken medical system, or from raping the environment or exploiting workers.

I have zero problem with rich people, as long as you haven't earned your wealth by hurting others or the Planet. Simple. I have no problem with Bill Gates — he just got rich from his nice, honest monopoly and from buying up competitors. No problem.

But so many Americans have sold their soul and "cashed in," often by selling their grandparent's land or whatever. But really, wealth is not good and it does not fit into my vision for the future. More people need to have less so others can have a warm meal, decent clothes, and a roof that doesn't leak. Am I supporting socialism? Well, sorta. Or maybe just a highly restrained capitalism.

Yikes. Even my sisters and sister-in-law are getting their McMansions. They are so wasteful to heat and cool, yet everyone has to have a "big house." And then they have to waste more energy by shining stupid lights on them. Don't you know that you are using more energy, making some coal-burning power plant work harder, and contributing to global warming?

"Ah so what, maybe we can start farming Canada."

How can you justify all the waste? How can you sleep at night? Where is your sense of responsibility. Don't you know I'd respect you more if you lived in a box, or a tent like my friend Günther, or a shack like my friend Chris? Are you trying to impress me? Hell, you are probably up to your ears in debt, and I really don't care about your two SUVs in the driveway and your banal brick house. I just don't care.

"Oh, but I grew up poor. I'm entitled to this."

And it's more honorable that you die poor. You've sold your soul to materialism. If your wealth has just come naturally from the love of your career, give it to the needy. Give it to a good cause. Just give it away before it corrupts you.

I particularly find it ironic that one of my sisters is moving from one McMansion to a bigger McMansion. See, she's married to a Christian music star. Yes, that's right, they are making their money off God — they call it a ministry, but it sure sounds like a business. When I was a kid people gave "love offerings" to a visiting singer. Now they charge comfortable prices for their concerts, CDs, and merchandizing. I am told that God has blessed them. Why is God blessing them with a McMansion while 1 billion people in the world are undernourished? It just doesn't make sense to me. Come on, God, can't you spread your blessings a little more evenly?

Anyway, back to the lights on the big houses. Sheesh, maybe you should go to the following website to determine your footprint (impact on the Earth): http://www.myfootprint.org.

As for me, I'm going to bed. The Yellow Canary is tired.