Fire

The fire burns, and I'm covered in plastic, and I spin and spin. The economy, the environment, atoms, evolution, so much to figure out. But it's all easy to figure out compared to these fires inside me that burn, burn, burn. Cognitive dissonance tears at my soul, day and night, as I trudge through this life, trying to figure it out.

Love, pain, cancer, and the desperation to believe religious lies, that promise to make things better, but never really do.

To quench the fire is to smother the soul, yet the fire burns on and destroys. Paper cups and straws, and landfills packed with garbage, and people who don't recycle, and reliance on the Taker System. Oh, how I kill, and what I kill will one day kill me.

But then the fire burns. The intense joy that turns to pain. The intense confusion. The joy of having it all, but really having nothing. The joy of deception, of illusion.

In the distance I see the shadows on the horizon, as my mind dances aimlessly about in my skull. Trying to figure it all out, but never able to. To hear the preachers scream and the philosophers ponder, and the teachers lecturing, and the moms screaming at their children. Everyone dances to a beat but no one recognizes the song.

And then there's that fire. That fire that wants to make the phone ring. That fire that makes you see what you can't see, that makes you want to have what you can never have, that makes you want to be with what you can never be with.

The timbers fall and Mother America grasps for straws as she slowly dies, and all this time I hold on to this misconception that it is better to only live for the present than to think about the future.

Burn, fire, burn. But what makes you burn? What fuels your flame? What fuels me? I do not know, and I cannot explain these feelings inside. My heart consumes my spirit, which consumes my soul. And my mind sits idly by, unable to control the powerful forces within.

Todd

Insanity

Having been on this planet for 48 years now, I've come to the conclusion that human society is totally and completely insane. Every day I just observe people, watch the media, and just sit back and say, "My gosh, humanity has fallen off its rocking horse.

First off there is religion. Come on folks, the gig is up. It's NOT REAL. It's all made up. You know it is — stop playing the game. Bottom line: When you die you rot like everyone else. So, my liberal Christian friends talk about religion as some abstract "spiritual experience," but even that's no good. Again, all religions are created by MEN (sorry, the male gender actually did invent them).

Next, there is this blind obsession with junk. People gotta have their junk. They just have to go buy junk and then more junk. This whole country is overflowing with junk. People gotta buy THINGS because it makes them happy, and then they drive to church in their Hummer, slap some backs and say a prayer or two, and then it's off to Longhorns for their Sunday afternoon dinner.

Thirdly, people live for the present and immediate gratification. The future be damned. Children be damned. This whole fucking life is about getting what you can, and getting it now, and getting LOTS of it, whatever "it" may be. People just want EVERYTHING, while 1/6 of the global population is poor and undernourished.

More crazy are the games people play, the egos, the self-deception, the denial, the rationalization, etc.. Human beings are a nutty species. I am endlessly fascinated by human animals and I like them. But the fact is, they are still NUTS. Humans are totally, completely, coconuts. Just sit in any Wal-mart for a while and observe people.

So, as the American empire begins to collapse and die, I now just want to laugh and have a good time. I just want to crack jokes and enjoy my last years in this totally crazy, insane society.

Coo coo,

Ze Gooster

Rain Barrel Project

All of us must do what we can to conserve resources and reduce our footprint on Earth. I made a small baby step in that direction yesterday by purchasing a rain barrel kit. More detailed instructions can be downloaded from the Cobb County, GA Water Department, which is the county where I live.

I was so excited that as soon as I got home I began work immediately. In following the instructions I wish to share two lessons learned:

• Make sure you get all the plastic shavings out from the drilling. Otherwise they may clog the faucet.
• When you put the screen mesh over the drain cover, make sure you leave plenty of extra overlap. Otherwise the screen will come out of the zip tie when you try to put the assembly in the hole.

Once installed in my backyard, I tested the rain barrel by spraying water on the roof. Viola! It worked. However, I quickly had a big surprise — as the rain barrel begin filling it started leaning forward and almost fell. I remedied the problem by adding another brick near the front.

The drain plug (the little black thing at the bottom) allows you to drain out all the gook at the bottom on occasion. This is stuff that settles below the faucet.

This is perfect for my garden, which is downhill from the rain barrel. All I need to do is hook up a hose and I can easily irrigate my vegetables.

Below are instructions:

Obtain the following materials:

• a sturdy barrel
• mesh screen
• plastic faucet
• steel washer
• o-ring
• long zip tie
• plastic elbow
• plastic drain cover
• down spout flex elbow
• #1 or #2 plug

Tools/Equipment needed:

• drill
• 7/8” paddle bit
• 5/8” paddle bit
• jig saw
• scissors
• channel lock

Step 1. Cut an opening in the top of the barrel the size of the drain cover.

Step 2. Cut a piece of mesh screen slightly larger than the drain cover. Secure the mesh screen
to the drain cover with the zip tie. Insert the drain cover into the opening on top of the
barrel.

Step 3. Drill one hole at the bottom to drain the barrel. Put the plug in the bottom hole.

Step 4. Drill a hole for the faucet, approximately 6 inches from the bottom.

Step 5. Placing a large steel washer over the faucet threads. Slide an o-ring over the faucet
threads. Place the faucet into the hole in the barrel and screw a plastic elbow onto the
assembly from the inside of the barrel.

Step 6. Cut the downspout to just above the rain barrel. Attach the downspout flex elbow to the downspout.

Step 7. Slide the rain barrel under the spout lining up the mesh screen opening with the spout. Spray water on the roof and check to make sure the rain barrel and mesh opening are in
the right location.

Step 8. Optional: paint your rainbarrel using Krylon Fusion paint.

Step 9. Use water collected with rain barrel for gardening purposes.

Rep. Chris Smith - The Egg Saving Zealot

I have one of the most difficult jobs in the environmental movement — working on the population issue. Domestically, I work on five issues:

• Comprehensive sex ed instead of abstinence only programs.
• Contraceptive insurance coverage for women.
• Universal access to emergency contraception.
• Title X - Low-income access to family planning services.
• Male Responsibility - An almost forgotten issue these days.
  

Yes, I am pro-choice, but I would much rather see abortions eliminated through better prevention (i.e. the items above). However, the conservative Christian community obviously loves abortions because they do all they can to oppose the items listed above.

Leading these righteous religious folks is Rep. Chris Smith (R-NJ). Every year when we push for adequate funding of both domestic and international family planning programs, Rep. Smith vigorously fights against us. He is a man with a mission. If you are a woman, Rep. Smith not only wants to throw you in jail for having an abortion, he wants you arrested for even using birth control!

The United States, as well as most of the world, is exploding in population. We are already seeing the hundreds of detrimental side effects of adding 80+ million people to the Earth every year. Why is the price of gas going up? BECAUSE OF INCREASED DEMAND!

People like Rep. Smith want to pull the plugs and allow our population to explode even faster. He defies the laws of nature, which says that there are limits to growth. That's because he believes that God will take care of everything. Hmm, I seem to be missing that part.

The video below is made by a candidate running against him for U.S. Congress. The clips of Smith talking are quite revealing, and shows everyone what this guy is really about. He is a man with a mission. I guess he'll want to arrest couples for early withdrawal as well, or for using the rhythm system, or does God approve of those methods, compared with condoms or birth control pills? Rep. Smith has really wandered into a complex moral quandary. He's really trying to play God in his own little way, or maybe he is trying to BE GOD. I'm not sure.

Enjoy the video...

Nobody Cares

One of the biggest shockers in life is how no one really seems to care about anything. This is a strange oddity of human nature, but it's true: People just get locked in their little worlds and they just live their own little narcissistic lives.

Considering that voter turnout was in the teens in the last election, it's obvious that few people care about democracy. Many people I've met simply don't care about the environment because it's an INCONVENIENCE to them. They don't WANT to pay more for recycled paper. They don't WANT to raise the air condition thermostat, even if it means burning less coal.

My wife and others in my life have little interest in my concerns. When I go on a rant about how people simply don't CARE she tells me to get off my soapbox. No one wants to hear my concerns for this world — I just need to shut-up and accept things the way they are, like everyone else. We must SHUT-UP so the robber barons can continue to rob us blind, so that our corrupt government can continue to cater to big industry, so that the rich can continue to fine tune their labor and environmental exploitation machine, called the U.S. government.

For the last two days I've really been thinking about Sophie Scholl, who was beheaded in 1943 by the Nazis for leading a student resistance group called the White Rose. She was enjoying a decent life as a university student, and she could have just kept quiet and continued on with her life. BUT SHE DIDN'T — she risked her life and eventually lost her head for standing up to an evil regime.

The utterly profound and sad thing is that she went to her execution sincerely believing that her martyrdom would cause an uprising among German students and the community. But it didn't. The vast majority of Germans did not oppose the incredible insanity going on around them. They did NOTHING — they just let the evil happen.

Prior to their deaths, several members of the White Rose believed that their execution would stir university students and other anti-war citizens into a rallying activism against Hitler and the war. Accounts suggest, however, that university students continued their studies as usual, citizens mentioned nothing, many regarding the movement as anti-national. Their actions were mostly dismissed...

What is the moral of this story? A young girl stands up against the Nazis and is executed by the Gestapo. The young girl cared. The girl spoke out. The young girl had courage. Where is our caring today? Where is our courage? I don't really know.

Confusica

Every day I wake up and never know what to expect. Some days bring wonderful joy, other days bring pain, but most days are just mundane. I have to keep reminding myself that I'm just a collection of a trillion living cells that somehow rose to a collection, not over billions, but trillions of years -- not in this Universe, but in another. I have to remind myself that time is infinite and size is infinite -- both small and large. And here I am caught in this single dimension, on a single spot in an endless continuum, and now I am spending my whole life trying to unravel just who I am and what I'm supposed to do.

I am a carbon-based, highly evolved animal with a powerful intelligence that is able to introspect, reason, and question. Yet I am also tied to this fragile, temporary body that will soon wither and fade. According to evolution, my only purpose is to reproduce and then get my children to reproduction age. That's it, man. But then there is the evolution of the mind and soul, and suddenly I feel a responsibility to do more than simply put a couple of kids in the world. There must be some sort of Universal destiny, and maybe what I do while on Earth can somehow make it easier for the next generation to approach the ultimate objective, whatever that may be.

I feel pain — deep pain that tears at my soul. I watch my friends and relatives die, have strokes, and suffer. But I feel great joy — the joy of a once-in-a-lifetime encounter when you make a special connection with someone. But then you have to march on into the battle because perhaps life isn't suppose to be that fun and wonderful. Maybe the essential goal in life is not to pursue happiness, but to fulfill the mission.

Alternating forces tear me apart as I stand on a planet that is whirling through space. At any time as asteroid could hit and smash my world apart. But no worries because humans have turned nuclear power into weapons, so every day we are not glowing is a miracle in itself.

The point is, each of us must make the decision to either follow our heart or our soul. What seems so unexpected seems so real now, and what once was distant now seems so close.

So, one day when the myths are unraveled and the lies are all debased, we'll be sitting on the ground exhausted from our hard work. We'll stare at that proverbial sunset and we'll feel alive — more alive than we've ever felt before. And there will be hope, and there will be a future, and suddenly a trillion little cells will have a purpose.

War and Violence ... It Goes On and On

I knew it ... I knew that the U.S. invasion of Iraq would set a bad precedent for the world. Now Russia invades Georgia. Next Iran will try some military action. Yeah, the United States did it, so can we. And the United States has nukes but we are telling Iran to get rid of theirs? We are all big hypocrites, baby.

There are creative ways to gain objectives without resorting to war. So, yes, we can justify the Russian invasion by saying they were coming to the aid of their friends, the South Ossetia separatists. Of course, the U.S. could say we wanted to liberate Iraq from an evil dictator. There is always justification for war, but it takes real maturity and creativity to pursue peace. Peace is the MORE DIFFICULT option.

I'm not a pacifist and believe that war is moral in two cases: self defense and the defense of a friend. But both of these are gray areas. For instance, did one side provoke the other? Did one side stage an incident? It happens, man.

The best solution is to always, ALWAYS work for peace. Yeah, call me a whimp. I got into a good fistfight at age 10, but then started backing down from them. Why? Because I thought that fighting was senseless. Okay, I decked a guy at age 15 because he was harassing a girl I liked. I warned him repeatedly before giving him a bloody nose. That was my last act of violence, although I spanked my oldest child, and now I regret that.

Violence begets violence, and pretty soon one nation is nuking another nation, and then one day every nation will let loose their salvos and this beautiful planet, along with its billions of people and wonderful wildlife, will become a dark cinder, floating through space.

And while I'm at it, I oppose the death penalty too. It's still hard for me to say that, and there are plenty of human monsters who DESERVE to die, but the cycle of endless violence must stop somewhere. The state represents the collective conscience of the people and must be held to the highest levels. The state must not lower itself by engaging in violence.

As for the evil, rabid people out there who commit the heinous crimes, maybe that could be minimized if parents spent more time with their kids, or if people started doing more loving and caring for one another, or if someone actually took the time to talk to some alienated outcast. Crime is simply a side effect of our sick, dysfunctional society. And the gut reaction is to just stomp and kill what is bad. However, it takes a lot more work to get to the root of what makes people evil. I am not excusing anyone for their actions by any means — I'm a strong believer in personal choices and responsibility. I'm just saying we need to take a holistic look at crime and violence.

So, in conclusion, I dear say that war is our primitive side coming out to play. Will our rational, logical side ever rise above it? Is it that much fun to play with our life size warplanes and tanks? Is war necessary to purge the violent genes still gushing in our gene pool? Do we need to kill off more aggressive young men before they reach reproductive age, lest they pass on their warrior genes to another generation?

Uuugh, I'm too tired to think about it.

Todd

When Brains Collide

Why are humans so selfish, even at the expense of their young and future wellbeing? Why are humans so technically advanced, yet so primitively violent? While doing research this week I came across the quote below. According to the following theory, it appears that our poor brains have become cross-wired between our ancient ancestors and our REALLY ancient ancestors.

I have long felt that the better we understand our evolutionary roots the better we can deal with our behavior in the modern world. Now that we have the ability to destroy our species at the touch of a button,
it remains to be seen whether our intellectual side can override our
violent side.

Here's what one researcher has to say:

"..... The Phylogenetic Regression-Progression Theory, which is based on 50 years of research by Paul D. MacLean, goes a long way to explain why humans can be devils as well as angels: Our brains are the result of an evolution that incorporates both the instinctive behavior of 200 million years ago with the emotional mammalian addition approximately 100 million years ago and the cognitive capacity that first developed in the neocortex of the great apes approximately 5 million years ago. Depending on our genetic and epigenetic (environmental) makeup, we tend to regress towards our ancient brain or progress to our modern brain. In most cases the direction is under our control."

Source: "Human Paleopsychology: Application to Aggression and Pathological Processes," (Lawrence Erlbaum, 1987) by Professor Emeritus Kent G. Bailey at the Dept. of Psychology, Virginia Commonwealth University, Richmond, Va.

Maria, You Will Bounce Back!

On July 7 my long-time friend and fellow activist Maria Wilson suffered a serious stroke. She has been in ICU for over a month now and is still not able to see many visitors. At this point she is very sick, but I remain hopeful that the old Maria will be back soon.

Over the past 10 years we've worked together on many environmental efforts and campaigns through our local Sierra Club Group. Maria has a special calling to care for the Earth, and for that I have the deepest respect and admiration for her. We have tabled together, demonstrated together, worked in political campaigns, and have fought for the same worthy ideals.

When I think of her, there are so many memories that come to mind. Maria, when you get better I'd like to share with you just a few of the ways you touched my life. Here are some things that immediately come to mind:

1) When you presented me with that beautiful plaque after my term ended as Sierra Club Group Chair. I still have that plaque and it's one of the things that truly mean a lot to me.

2) When you saw me bringing refreshments to all the Sierra Club meetings and you took the initiative to organize and coordinate the refreshments each month. I was so thankful to have the help.

3) When you attended a couple of the population workshops I organized. Just having you there was a great show of support and it meant a lot to me.

4) When we demonstrated against Saxby Chambliss and you were talking to the cops, no doubt saving us from getting arrested.

5) When I organized the first Earth Day tablings in 1998 I was at one of the tabling sites and was afraid that no volunteers would show up to staff our booth, but then you and Roger showed up — I was so glad to see you, and so grateful.

I have a special respect and love for anyone who volunteers and "gives back" to this world. But I have the deepest respect for those who help the environment and future generations. Chances are you may never see a return on your investment of time because the rewards are far into the future, yet you keep giving and giving, and serving and serving. This is remarkable.

Thank you very much for inspiring me. Thank you for reminding me that humans are for the most part wonderful, and that it is the most dedicated ones among us who will be the ones that will ultimately save the community of life.

You will be reading this soon, Maria. I know you will.

Todd

Lazolution

Okay, I was talking to a colleague tonight and he shared with me some interesting insight:

Why Americans Are Lazy

Back in prehistoric days, the individuals and tribes with the most food, most efficient organization, and best weapons were the winners. Those who could not compete were weeded out by evolution.

The problem is that these successful humans tended to be selfish, horded resources, and became lazy. Ta da, they have now evolved into Americans.

Unfortunately, our success in the caves of Europe 20,000 years ago may now lead to our failure in the good ol' USA. We have become like the Roman Empire in its last days — obsessed with good food, entertainment, sports, narcissism, and self-indulgence, and not really about the Earth or future generations.

Then there is the problem with all these big modern "tribes" that try to compete with one another for dominance. For instance, today we see Islam and Christianity competing with one another. One way these "tribes" try to overpower the other is by mass breeding. Growing the human population is never really a good solution, because all those humans require more resources and make a greater impact on the Earth.

I'm not sure how this will all end, but I am certain of one thing: We are all prisoners of our genetic coding, much more than we can ever imagine. So much of our behavior can be traced to those early days in our evolution. The problem is that what once suited us back in caveman days is not likely going to work well in our modern, global economy.

TD

A thanks to brother Steve in Maine for sharing his insight.

Brainwaves of Humanity

Okay, I've spent the last few days looking at dozens of blogs on the Web. I've seen a lot of interesting blogs about travel, pets, raising kids, etc.. But what I'm not seeing is a lot of deep thought. What I see is a focus on the trivial. I don't know, I'm not feeling good about this whole "save the Earth" thing.

My problem is that I spend WAY too much time thinking. In the second grade my teacher called me the "Absent Minded Professor" because I was constantly daydreaming and zoned out. When I got my first real job at Dairy Queen at age 17, I almost got fired because my mind was a million miles away.

Most of my mental energy is spent on figuring ways to help our dying species and Planet. A reader of my blog once told me that I seemed frustrated because no one else seemed to "get it." That describes me in a nutshell. I always try to keep an open mind, but I get so frustrated with conservative religious people that I don't even want to have a discussion with them, in fact, I don't even want to be around them.

What amazes me most is how people can hold totally conflicting values, find a way to justify their contradictions, and seem to have no problem with that. For example, guns, war, and Christianity ARE NOT A PRETTY MATCH, but Right Wing folks seem to have no problem with their opposing values. Or Christians and the Republican Party — religious evangelicals appear to have no problem aligning themselves with big corporate predators that ruthlessly exploit the environment and labor. Or Christians who scream about "private property rights" and "my rights" — sounds selfish to me, and contradicts the communal living style described in the Book of Acts.

So, I spend a lot of time wondering if humanity is worth saving or can be saved. Every day I see things, read things, and hear about things, and I am just amazed at how utterly insane this world is. As a coworker once said to me, "Everybody's just trippin', man." Indeed they are.

Todd

Desiderata

In 1978 I was on my high school yearbook staff and someone had the idea of making the poem below our theme. I remember that a girl passed out a handout of the poem to all of us staff members. This week I was clearing junk out of my mom's attic and came across the poem -- 30 years later. I now realize that a lot of this has stuck in my head through the years -- it has actually had an influence on my life.

Todd

Desiderata

Go placidly amid the noise and haste,
and remember what peace there may be in silence.
As far as possible without surrender
be on good terms with all persons.
Speak your truth quietly and clearly;
and listen to others,
even the dull and the ignorant;
they too have their story.

Avoid loud and aggressive persons,
they are vexations to the spirit.
If you compare yourself with others,
you may become vain and bitter;
for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.
Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.

Keep interested in your own career, however humble;
it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.
Exercise caution in your business affairs;
for the world is full of trickery.
But let this not blind you to what virtue there is;
many persons strive for high ideals;
and everywhere life is full of heroism.

Be yourself.
Especially, do not feign affection.
Neither be cynical about love;
for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment
it is as perennial as the grass.

Take kindly the counsel of the years,
gracefully surrendering the things of youth.
Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune.
But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings.
Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.
Beyond a wholesome discipline,
be gentle with yourself.

You are a child of the universe,
no less than the trees and the stars;
you have a right to be here.
And whether or not it is clear to you,
no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.

Therefore be at peace with God,
whatever you conceive Him to be,
and whatever your labors and aspirations,
in the noisy confusion of life keep peace with your soul.

With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams,
it is still a beautiful world.
Be cheerful.
Strive to be happy.